She was sitting on her stump on a gloomy, grey day. It was her favorite place to be, usually. Alone. Quiet. Away from the other children. A good place to think.
She prayed there sometimes but lately she felt as if no one was listening. That was the usual way of things. No one noticed, no one listened. She even felt completely invisible, most of the time.
She sighed a heavy sigh. Her bottom was cold and getting wet and was surely getting dirty. She thought “That’ll sure get me in trouble….” but then she remembered that she did the laundry and her Daddy was rarely home. “I’ll wash my pants as soon as I get home.”
She sighed again. She was so miserable. She had been feeling this was for such a long time now. A few years ago, she heard that awful news – her Mom was sick and the doctors weren’t sure if she would ever get better. They must be wrong. Of course she’ll get better. She told herself often “She’s my Mom and she will always be around to help me and take care of me. She will. She will always be here for me. I just know it. I will make it so because it has to be so.” She squeezed her eyes shut tight, as tight as she could and wished as hard as she could.
She knew that wishing wouldn’t work. It never did.
“I can’t make my Mom well and I can’t make my Daddy happy” she said to a squirrel. He didn’t seem to notice.
Nobody seemed to notice.
No one noticed that she was there.
No one noticed that she wanted to cry all the time.
But what good would crying do?
That wouldn’t make her Daddy happy. It wouldn’t make her Mom well. It sure wouldn’t make anyone like her.
Just then, the bell rang, the squirrel scampered off and she trudged back to class.
She had only been at this school a few weeks. They had moved to be near the place where her Mom was – a new hospital for people who were sick like her. The other kids stared at her and whispered behind their hands. She was taller than all the other girls, had big hands and big feet. “Just a freak, that’s what they think”, she said to herself.
No one sat with her at lunch. They were nice in class and shared and were always polite and good classmates, but that didn’t make them her friends. No one seemed to want that at all.
And that just made her more miserable. It would be nice to have someone to talk to. She couldn’t talk to her Daddy; he was just so sad all the time.
The next day, she was sitting there on her stump, she saw the other kids playing and laughing and running around. They always wanted recess to last a bit longer. If they just laughed louder and played harder, would the bell forget to ring? They always hoped, but it never worked. She just wanted to get back to class because working and studying and reading kept her from thinking about everything else.
“That’s probably why they hate me” she thought. “They know I’m the jinx that makes recess short.”
Just then the bell rang and they lined up to go back inside to finish the school day.
She walked home feeling the heaviness of another grey, dreary day.
Daddy wasn’t home when she got there. He was still at the hospital with Mom.
She ate a PBJ and read a bit, took a bath and went to bed.
She heard him come home. He came in to kiss her goodnight. She wanted to hug him and talk to him about her day, about his time with Mom but he was so sad. She could tell. She could always tell.
On the stump again the next day, she decided to stop wishing. Instead, she started to pray. “Why am I here? Why can’t I do anything to help? Why do I feel so alone? Why doesn’t anyone like me or want to be my friend? God, please help me be something good. Help me do something that will matter!”
Just then, she felt a jolt and jumped off the stump.
It started to shake a bit then it started to glow a bit and then it started to grow a bit. It grew and grew and grew and before she knew it, she was climbing back on to the stump. She had to get back on before it got too tall.
She couldn’t help herself.
She stood on the stump and
Jumped.
Instead of falling to the ground, she started to soar and the higher she got the lighter she felt and the lighter she felt the happier she felt. The happier she felt the higher she soared until
she was gliding through the air, over the trees, warm sunshine on her face and cool breeze on her skin and through her hair.
She felt so good she couldn’t believe she was just about to cry moments before.
Then she saw girls from her class and she KNEW they were talking about her. So she swooped down to a branch on a tree near them and listened.
They weren’t talking about her. The girl they were talking about was the smartest girl they knew and so pretty and such a good singer and they wished they had the nerve to go up to her at lunch and walk home with her after school. They just couldn’t. They would be SO embarrased. “Jenna”, they said, “is someone who would be the nicest person to have as a friend.”
Jenna. They said Jenna. That was her name. THAT WAS HER NAME!!
She got so excited, she flew again, further up the playground. She saw a group playing basketball and she heard her name again “Jenna should be on our team. She’s so tall, I bet she would be just great at dunking the ball!”
They want me to play??? THEY WANT ME TO PLAY!! She almost screamed with joy.
She flew on.
She flew past kids drawing with chalk on the sidewalk. “Jenna is such a good artist. I wish I had the nerve to ask her how she draws such good butterflies.”
She flew on.
Kids jumping rope were singing a song she had sung in choir for rehearsal. HER SONG! They liked it!
As she flew, she began to realize that all the bad things the other kids were thinking weren’t true at all. Her doubts and fears started to fade.
They didn’t think her a freak – they thought she was COOL! They wanted to be her friend and to learn from her.
She flew and flew and flew and almost wished she would never come back to earth.
But she decided that she wanted to come back.
To make friends. To sing and to play and to draw and to feel like a little girl again.
And even though her Mom was sick and her Daddy was sad, she could learn to smile.
And she knew her prayer had been answered. She knew what she could do that would matter.
She could give her Daddy her smile and sing him a song and paint him a picture and one day, he would smile again too. And even if her Mom never got better, she could be the person that made her Daddy smile. She could be the person who could make him feel better
Whenever she started to get sad, she just stood on her stump.
And prayed
And jumped.
And flew.
She soared with arms outstretched, confidence guiding her flight.
Happy. Fulfilled. Determined.
sorrowful/empathetic/introvert 