the first dream in memory is that of a bull chasing me through the house around each corner through each door but never outside where a bull should be.
then needles, long needles someone unknown to me piercing my eyes repeatedly.
another progressed each time i slept.
for months i dreamed of an immense luminous white, winding corridor; a constant tap, tap, tap. with each step the tap became a thump became a bang became a boom became thunder increasing in intensity, vibrating the walls, my bones, my brain. i would wake, shivering, gasping for breath, no longer able to bear the terror. with each dream, i traveled deeper within the maze, my body crushed, my mind paralyzed by the pressure, the terror of that unrelenting sound. each night this dream journey continued, until finally, unable to move, i lay upon the floor punished and pummeled by that hammering beat. one night before sleep i willed myself to walk on, to discover the genesis of the malevolent sound and make it cease. i dreamt and walked and walked and walked until i came upon a sharp turn, a corner where there had been no corner and knew i had found the source. i turned the corner and the sound became benign, silly, innocuous. laughing, i discovered two people playing ping pong. I never dreamt that dream again
no longer dreaming the dreams of a small child, fraught with terrors.
no longer dreaming the dreams of a young woman, ripe with skin, heat, passion, lust.
now dreaming of ladders. one suspended without support, reaching far into the sky, leading nowhere, I presume.
one leads to an attic space, concealed from view by a small door, inaccessible.
another leads to a rooftop, the scent of breeze wafting down from above.
i wander between
and wonder.
sorrowful/empathetic/introvert 